Monday, May 20, 2013

That wasn't a fire...I was just thinkin'

      Head for the bunkers! I have been thinking! Yeah, me thinking can be dangerous some days. I myself have yet to figure out if thinking is a good thing or bad thing. I guess it all depends on the day and what it is that I am thinking about. So what have I been thinking about lately? EVERYTHING.

     I tend to do a lot of my thinking when I'm driving. The things I think tend to get really weird. The other day I was randomly thinking about what I would say if for some-odd reason a cop pulled me over for some strange reason. Whether it be for a tail light or broken blinker. Then I wondered if it would be the cop that was a friend of the family. He goes by the nickname 'Mississippi' (I totally spelled that out in my head using the old spelling trick lol). Next thing I knew I was doing that whole this rhymes with that, or reminds me of this, etc. Maybe you can, maybe you can't, follow my path of logic. I'm gonna show what I thought and where I ended up.


Mississippi (cop), Mississippi Mudd (alcoholic drink), Mudd rhymes with Fudd, Elmer Fudd, Elmer's Glue, Horses in Glue (I love horses *sadface*), Horses in Kentucky Derby, Derby Cars, Stock Cars, Cattle Stock, Cows into Beef, Beef into Steak, Steak on Grills, Summertime Grilling, Swimming during Summer, Summer in Northern Hemisphere, Earth, Solar System, Galaxy, God, Life, Thinking, Thinking while Driving, Driving alone, Getting Pulled Over, Mississippi (cop). Mind Blown.

Crazy.

Yeah....whenever I think, it's probably best to head to the underground bunkers.

Peace out, rant on!
-Sesshy

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

My own Facebook page!

I have my own Facebook page! Go check it out now at https://www.facebook.com/shamansesshy and don't forget to hit the 'Like' button!

-Sesshy

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Hell...Oh, Spring!

      I love spring. It means that all the white stuff that vomits from the sky 9-10 months of the year is finally gone for the next few short weeks. People in my area call this short period spring/summer/fall/construction. It's basically all four in one. The only thing I don't like about the season is how the bipolar weather makes me feel. I'm sure I'm not the only one. For a basic description, it makes one feel like the green pukey smiley you find on poison labels.





      Yup. The migraines, the body aches, the stomach upset, you name it. You can get the best nights sleep and still wake up feeling like the world's largest Mac truck ran over you, slammed on it's brakes, backed up, and ran over you again at least a dozen more times. Add another dozen times if you have seasonal allergies.

      On the bright side, I get to look forward to summer tourists! They always bring a smile to my face. If you aren't local and reading this, pay a visit to Mackinaw City sometime. Don't forget to ask someone what time the Mackinac Bridge goes to to the Island or the secret recipe for the Island's special fudge. Also, don't forget that Mackinac is pronounced just like it is spelled and that it is illegal to pronounce it any other way, regardless of what locals tell you.

      Thank you for making a local's day if you just did any of the previous. You are now an official Fudgee! 100 interwebs cookies to you! If you did the above and you are a local, then hope your employer/coworker didn't catch you playing hooky after you called in just to play Fudgee. We all know it's a fun pastime, but someone has to get back to work making that fudge.

Well, that's all for now. Peace out, rant on!
      -Sesshy

Friday, April 26, 2013

Of Couches and Caffeine

      Oh devilish caffeine, you think you can suck me back into your evil ways. Just kidding. I don't mind so much now. At least I can say I only drink the occasional coffee for a morning pick me up, instead of being a hard core caffeine addict. If you are confused in any way about what I am referring to, let me rewind a bit.

      Flashback high school years. Teenage female, depression, insomnia, high school in general, and a heart/blood pressure condition that was controlled via medication and Mt. Dew. I went from 2-3 twenty ounce bottles of the beverage a day to going through gallons of caffeinated type beverages a day over the course of a month. It didn't matter what it was, as long as it contained caffeine. I  went like this for about 2 years. I'm honestly surprised I didn't do caffeine pills too. I downed everything from cappuccino, Volt (back before there were such things as 'energy drinks'), Mt. Dew, etc. My salvation from this curse came when I found out I was pregnant with my oldest son. The doctor told me I could either wean myself down or just cut myself off completely. I knew there was no 'weaning' myself, so I went with the only other option and quit cold turkey. I didn't sleep for a week and twitched constantly. Some people that knew me said I was like a crackhead without a fix. Creepy.

      Now here I am sitting with a cup o' joe, and I can finish it and call it a day. Tomorrow, if I don't need a push start, then I can go without. I feel so proud of myself. Yay me!

      On another note, my in-laws got a new couch! Brand spankin new! I love the smell of new furniture. I admit it, I couldn't resist smelling the couch for at least the first 5 minutes hehe. Along with new furniture smell I like the smell of new books, fresh painted rooms, new carpet, clean babies, my husband fresh out of the shower, my husband after he's worked on a car, and fresh cut wood. There's more of course, but these are just some of the more common, yet different ones. And the reason I mention my husband is because in my situation it would be wrong for me to say 'a man fresh out of the shower'. Plus, I DO like the smell of my hubby when he gets out of the shower. Not all men smell the same, even if they were to use the same shower products.

      Well, that's it for today! Peace out, rant on!

-Sesshy

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Ode to Alarm Clock

Alarm clock you wake me against my will daily with your screams
Violently ripping me from the wonderful world of my dreams
When your cries are most dearly needed for me to wake
It seems that is when you choose to remain silent
It must be my fate



       Ya'll know what I'm talkin about! Whether you set the time, but forgot to turn the alarm to 'On', or you set the time for pm vs am (or vice versa). Then there are those days when you just forget to turn the darn thing on all together! This happened to me yesterday. Thursday I had to get up early to take my youngest son up for surgery to get his adenoids removed. That night I was pretty tired out between the early morning, watching over him to make sure he was alright throughout the day, trying to get my oldest to understand that I don't love him any less just because I am watching my youngest like a mother hen would, and so on and so forth. So come that night I set my alarm for the next day so my oldest can still go to school. Being the next day was a Friday that meant he had a big science test and it was the 1st day of his big science project. On top of that, with this winter's horrid flu season and him being an asthmatic, I'm already having to deal with the school truancy board with his missed days.

     So I set the time and go to bed. Next morning I wake up to my husband banging on the door (he works nights) asking why BOTH boys are home. I look at the clock and realize what I did. I set it for PM instead of AM. Then we all start the dance of 'Let's all rush and see who can get in who's way the most because we're all in a hurry'. Hop in the car and drive as fast as safety allows in the pouring rain. Gotta love spring 2013 where mother nature has decided to stop taking her meds for menopause and bipolar at the same time. Make to school on time and head back home. Turn onto the road home and start hearing a strange squeaking sound. Great. Just another thing to break on this thing. Turns out to be a shock. All this crap-in-a-hand basket because of my lack of ability to be able to distinguish the little dot that means AM or PM. And because mornings just hate me in general.

    So that's my rant for the day. Have fun all. Peace out, rant on!

 -Sesshy

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

The week of blahdy blahdy blah blah..

    Soooo.....now that I finally have a moment to breath *takes deep breath*, I guess I can finally take some time to finally post on here considering it's been waaay too long since the last time I did. Too much going on for someone who feels like they normally have nothing to do. Between my 4 year old getting tubes in his ears (again!), and my husband going to multiple appointments only to find out what we pretty much knew was going to happen, I haven't really had any time to myself.

    What's going on with the kid and hubby you ask? Nothing big. My youngest has dealt with ear infections repeatedly since day one. He had tubes when he turned one and did fine for a few years. Then the infections started coming back. His original physician had moved on so I was stuck with some crackpot that didn't seem to understand what 'azyromiacin resistant' meant. Finally my doctor took up family practice in the town we recently moved back to so I took him there. After only a few months he had no problem referring my son back to the specialist. Now he has to endure not only the tube procedure, but a separate procedure for his adenoids (tomorrow, the 18th) because stupid insurance won't cover both being done at the same time.

     As far as my husband goes, his isn't really that big either. His all started years ago, but now it's just finally gotten to him enough that he actually did something about it (like I told him to do then *sigh*). His knee has always given him trouble, but like all stubborn men, he tried to at like it's no big deal. Now it's finally hurting him enough that he couldn't stand it anymore and he FINALLY felt it was time he should talk to the doctor. It probably doesn't help that we go to the same doctor and I kinda went in with him and tattled on him. What? I was sick and tired of the whining about the knee that he wanted something done, but refused to take the initiative to do anything about! So, anyway, after several appointments to the specialists, MRI's, etc., they tell him he needs knee surgery. Now he's a little upset. Not at me. Just upset in general because he doesn't know if he'll be missing 3 days or 2 weeks. And even after they fix the tendon tear, he'll still be in some pain because they told him he also has arthritis in the same knee. I tried to explain that at least the tear will be fixed and won't get worse and cause something more painful to happen. I think he just likes being grumpy some days.

   Well, that's my week in a nutshell. And I still have more of it to come (ugh, don't remind me!). So I'm gonna just try and get a few more breaths in while I can before life  starts running me over again! So see ya'll later and peace out, rant on!

-Sesshy

Monday, April 8, 2013

The rant of blah

    Ugh. My brain has been in "I don't wanna" mode these past few days. I think it's my brain's way of recovering from a depression 'shut down'. For anyone those who are lucky enough to go through life not having to deal with clinical depression, a 'shut down' is pretty much what it says. It's where you pretty much shut down. You don't think, speak, feel. You don't anything. I have been on medication for the past several years, but there are still times when an episode manages to break through. I just pretty much just sit there real quiet for the whole day, only speaking when required. The thoughts in my mind are thoughts that I might not normally think. Usually things like if my husband or kids really need me, if they would be better off if I left. I don't feel any sadness though. That's the strange part. I just feel so.....empty. I don't feel anything. Thankfully though, by the next day things are usually back to normal....for the most part. It always seems that for the next few days after a breakthrough episode my brain feels somewhat drained. Like coming back from the edge took all I had or something.

    So how long have I struggled with this sickness? I was diagnosed when I was 13. I had hit an all time low and written a note to a friend in school saying that I was going to kill myself. My mom immediately took me to a counselor to find out what was going on. After my diagnosis, I was started on antidepressants. I found these made things worse. One even put me in such a daze that during the 2-3 months that the medication was in my system I have no memory of. Apparently my sister (who is six years younger than me) was looking after me. I eventually gave up on meds and took a more natural approach to treating my depression. Through meditation, journals, friends, and more, I found I was able to overcome I my depression for the longest time medication free. It wasn't until after I had my second son that I found I could no longer fight my depression on my own. I didn't have the time for myself to do things like meditation or even to write in journals. No time for friends. Not even time for me. Plus with hormonal postpartum, the depression was just too much. After talking to my doctor and expressing my concerns with medications, we tried 2 or 3 medications before finding my current antidepressant. Though it has had to be increased in dosage in the 4 years I have been taking it, I find it has been helping me better than if I were to go without. As a mother of two boys, and a wife, I don't always have time for myself. I have found sometimes it doesn't hurt to have that little extra medicated help.

    There are those out there that may not believe that depression is a true mental sickness. They may feel it is only a state of mind. I know a lot of people like that. I have had to deal with their prejudices for years. All I can say to them is they are not me. They have not had to deal with my struggles, and they are blessed to not have this sickness. I go through each day fighting my fight. Living each day one at a time, and facing them as they come. I don't worry about tomorrow, just today, because before tomorrow can come I must first get through this day.

-Sesshy

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

/keyboardface

    Ever have one of those days where something happens and you just want to go back to bed and not get up till the next day? And then you hope when you wake up, not only do you get to start the day over, but you get to start things over from X date because you realize all this time you could have been doing X thing X way etc. etc. and so forth? Yeaahhh.....I just had one of those days.

     It all started with a file transfer from laptop to another. Actually, it goes farther back than that. Let me rewind a bit more. It all started a year and a half ago (approx) when my laptop's wireless radio decided to go kaput just months after the warranty expired. That's how things always work,right? Ninety-nine point nine percent of the time anything that decides to break will GUARANTEE too break/malfunction AFTER the warranty period. SO, for the next year and a half I deal with plugging in via ether net cable. This February I finally decided enough was enough. I dropped 40 bucks on a Belkin wireless thumb drive so I didn't have to do the whole plug in crap anymore. Now we are more up to date.

    So back to the file transfer. Halfway through my transfer my wireless thumb drive just shuts off. At first I thought maybe I lost signal. Looking at the other laptop though shows that wireless is still up and going strong. Ok....what the heck is going on? I unplug the drive and re insert it thinking maybe it will maybe reset it. No go. Me not happy. Me getting pissed. I grab the laptop that is still connected and Google Belkin support. After typing model number and searching through a few support topics and getting no results, I see the "chat with support" button. Yes! Clicky clicky. Not even 15 seconds later I am chatting with support and going through steps to resolve my issue. It was a matter of making sure my computer recognized my drive (yes) and then re-enabling it. Apparently it can shut itself off? I had no idea it could do that. All in all, it took a total of 5 minutes to get my thumb drive back up and running, mostly because of the chat time. Now that I know what to look for, I can do it in 5 seconds.

    So where is the part that makes my day just want to start over and rewind waaaay back? After finishing up everything I was doing, I decided for shits and giggles to go through the same process with my wireless radio (seeing as how it still showed up on the list). I saw that little "enable" button and was thinking "this better not...". I click it, unplug my thumb drive, and guess what? I still have wireless. Sonofabitch. I didn't know if I wanted to be happy, bitchslap my laptop, or what. A year and a half. A FREAKING YEAR AND A FREAKING HALF!

     Some days I hate my life  /keyboardface

-Sesshy

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Introduction to Mr. Gibbs!

   I would like to formally introduce to the world Mr.Gibbs! He is the curious little pirate monkey that I like to use for my avatar image across the net. Why am I just now introducing Mr.Gibbs when I have been using his image for so long? Because, he wished to remain mysteriously anonymous. He's a pirate, and pirate's have their reasons for doing things. And a monkey. A pirate monkey. And as everyone knows, pirate monkeys are very mysterious creatures. Maybe it's all part of his "Take over the world" plan. Everyone knows that pirate monkeys have a secret desire to take over the world.

   So you want to know more about Mr.Gibbs? I myself know very little about this odd little fellow. I have tried to learn what I can in the past year that he has resided with me. This is what I have found: He has one brother, Ninja Monkey (whom he is currently at war with, because Pirate Monkeys and Ninja Monkeys cannot co-exist together), and he currently has one member in his pirate crew, Dancing Monkey (who likes to dance and sing "Hey!Hey! We're the Monkeys!" by The Monkeys). Apparently Mr.Gibbs is in the process of looking for more crew members. Mr.Gibbs likes the color gold, booty (he gave me a wink when saying this, leading me to believe it has a double meaning), and evening raids on the beach. I often find his pants hanging lower in the morning than where they were the night before. This worries me often as there is no nearby monkey brothels....that I'm aware of. He favor's to drink Captain Jack (named after a famous undead pirate monkey). He has a special flintlock pistol that he often keeps hidden. I have also found that he keeps some "special" gold coins in the red satchel attached to his waist. What is so special about these coins is still a mystery to me.

   Mr.Gibbs plans on possibly starting his own blog in the future. He claims "This is all part of my Conquer-and-take-over-the-world plan. I must first become a modern Pirate, so that I can recruit more members for my monkey crew. Then I will take over the weakest of the world's governments and move on from there". When I asked what he meant by "the weakest of the world's governments" he gave me the "duh" look and replied "The only one that would actually be willing to get rid of their current leader! Haha!". The person who said that there is no such thing as a stupid question never asked a pirate monkey the question I just asked during the Obama era. Now THAT is a stupid question.

   So, that is the end of my introduction today. No real rant. But I promise rants are to come! So peace out and rant on!
-Sesshy


and Mr.Gibbs


                                          Ninja Monkey and Mr.Gibbs during better times.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Respect to our Volunteers!

   I am royally peeved! This is something that happened yesterday, but I am still so miffed about it, I am just boiling over! Hehe, this means I had all night to stew about it, and it's gonna come out GOOD.

   So what has my panties all up in a bunch? People showing absolutely no respect to our Volunteer Firefighters rushing to a rescue on the road! I'm driving my husband to his MRI the next town over last night when I see flashing red lights on top of everyday vehicles. Being the grand-daughter of a Volunteer Fire Chief and the niece of a Volunteer Firefighter, I know what these vehicles are. Also, being this is a poor community all we have for Fire Rescue are Volunteers. Same with our Ambulance Team. The only full time, non-Volunteers we have are our Police Officers. All other Emergency Rescue that are in the immediate area are Volunteers.

   So on with my rant. I see the lights, and I do what any person would do when they see flashing red lights on an emergency response vehicle. I pull off to the side of the road. Everyone else though, just kinda slows down behind me and stares like monkeys on a log scratching their butts. They don't pull over, they don't stop, nothing. They keep going. In the lane with the Emergency Response, no one pulls over. They keep going as though no one is behind them needing to get around. At that point, as much as I hate to say this, I secretly wished it was their house on fire. Seriously, where is the respect these people deserve? They put their lives on the line and don't ask for anything in return!

   This also reminds me of another time I encounter disrespect towards one the local Volunteers. It was when I was working as a cashier. I was in the middle of checking out someone when I heard a couple of teenage girls talking (not so quietly) to each other. One said to the other "OMG! Do you see that giant guy over there? He has like a huge tumor or something on the back of his neck! It's so gross! They shouldn't let people like that walk around in public." Other girl, "I know, right?". I looked towards where they were looking and noticed who they were talking about. I was enraged (I was already enraged, but now even more so). At this point I spoke up, "That's not a tumor, it's a scar from where a back draft of fire came up under his helmet during a fire rescue." I said with a not so happy look on my face. By this time I was checking out the two girls. The lady in front of me didn't seem too happy with their comment either because she gave them a disgusting look before she left. Before I could finish what I had to say about the man, the first girl piped up, "You couldn't pay me enough to do a job that dangerous....or stupid.". She smirked afterwards thinking she had "outsmarted" me and made her point about "ugly people". How ignorant some teenagers can be. I finished up, "Same for him. That's why he's a Volunteer. FYI, that back draft scar is over top of his scar from his epilepsy surgery. Before he had his surgery he could only dream of doing something like being a Firefighter, going to the store alone, driving, stuff you do every day.". I smiled at the last part. Not because I had won, but because I was proud of the man. Of all he had overcome, and what he could now do. The two girls were speechless as they paid for their stuff and walked away. The man had just finished paying for his stuff and was walking past my register. I asked the next customer if it she didn't mind waiting a second while I gave my Uncle a hug. She, of course, had no problem. I then walked over, stood on my tippy toes, and gave my 6 foot 6 inch Uncle a hug. Even though I have always been proud of my Uncle for all he has overcome, I was even more proud at that moment.

   Our Volunteers may not wear a uniform or drive a special vehicle, but they deserve the same respect as those that do. They do the same job as our uniformed Emergency Response. The only difference is they don't get a paycheck for it.

That's today's rant. Peace out, rant on!

-Sesshy

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Movie Rant

   I just saw the commercial for "The Host" on my tv. I read the book. I absolutely LOVE the book. I have read The Host by Stefani Meyer about 2 or 3 times now. I don't even own The Host. I have to barrow it from my sister whenever I want to read it, and she lives 4 hours away. Yeah, yeah, I know. "If you LOVE the book that much, why not buy it?". Because I'm financially challenged, that's why. Plus, why buy something that someone else will let me use for free whenever I want?

   Ok, back on topic. The commercial. It pissed me off. THE ACTORS ARE ALL WRONG. What I mean is whoever picked the actors sucked ass and needs to go go read the book and learn what the characters should actually look like! If Stefani picked out the actors, well, no offense....I love her as a writer....but she stick to writing. I can't read the Twilight novels anymore because the movies just ruined everything for me as far as the looks of the characters. I only watched the 1st movie but it just sickened me. More on Twilight in a minute. Back to The Host commercial. The main character, Melani (aka Mel) looks too...innocent. WRONG! WRONG!WRONG! She is supposed to look like someone who can rough it and throw some punches (as well as take some!). She should is supposed to be a strong female leader. The person they have playing Jeb is completely wrong. Anyone, and I do mean ANYONE, that reads the description and 1st spoken lines of Jeb will automatically picture Sam Elliot. For those that don't know, or can't think of who Sam Elliot is, he played as the graveyard attendant/cowboy ghost rider in (obviously) the movie Ghost Rider. He also played Lee Scoresby in Golden Compass. For older people, you may remember him in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. I remember the 1st time I read The Host and I read Jeb's first spoken line, Sam Elliot was exactly who came to mind. I have talked to several other people and they have told me the same thing. Of all the actors to get wrong, how on earth can they mess up Jeb???

  Back to Twilight. Unlike Harry Potter, where all the characters looked like they actually should have, the only actors to actually match their characters were Taylor Lautner, Peter Facilini (Carlisle Cullen), Rachelle Lefevre (Victoria), and Gil Birmingham (Billy Black). The rest were complete failures. Edward never looked at Bella with a calm, but confused look. Like he was trying to study her. He never looked over her with loving concern. When he got upset, he never did it with a sense of calming concern. Instead he always seemed like an emo teen full of anger and teenage angst. Bella always seemed like she was stoned. Sure, Forks looked like Forks, and the movie pretty much followed the book, but the actors did not (in my opinion) fulfill their roles as their characters. In the the Harry Potter series, at least the actors looked the part. They acted the part. It was the directors that strayed from the books as the movies progressed. Either way, the Harry Potter Movies held more true to their books both in capturing the essence of the character, and the world, than the Twilight movies ever did. And I have a feeling The Host is going to be the same blunder, as far as actors go, as the Twilight movies were.

  Well, that's today's today's rant. Peace out, rant on.

-Sesshy

Monday, March 25, 2013

My first rant, and some gun control...

      For starters, I would like to say, I am not a huge blog reader. For me to start a blog is probably the oddest thing for me to do (not really). I am more into online comics, video games, anime cartoons, dress up games, and other geeky girl stuff. I don't care about the Kardashians (who are they exactly anyway?), and I don't watch those reality vote-em off shows. I have been called all sorts of things throughout my life from cute and pretty, to tomboy, to geek and nerd (both before and after geeks and nerds were cool). I've been the girl next door, the cheerleader, the emo/punk/goth chick. I've even been the girl that was with that bad boy biker guy, and we were stead for the longest time, then we were on again off again back and forth and it was the biggest news in high school. Was I popular? Never. At least not in my opinion. I felt I was always the person at the bottom of the totem trying so hard to work my way to the top. Only when I graduated did i realize that it was the people at the top that wished they could have traded places with me.

     So why did I decide to start a blog? Because I could. Why not? Not only that, but there is SOOOO MUCH THAT NEEDS TO BE SAID, AND NOT ENOUGH THAT IS HEARD. I have lived may too much and experienced way too much in the few years I have lived life. That being said, I seem to see things and understand things that the average person can no longer get.

      For example, this whole gun reform crap. I understand why and what-not, but the way the government is trying to go about it is all wrong. And on top of that, where was this gun refom back when Columbine happened? It took several high schools, colleges, an amish school, and an a group of 1st graders for this to happen? Reform needs to happen, but not in the form of no guns, limited ammo, etc. It needs to come in the form of more aggressive background checks and mental health checks. Don't let a person walk in and out the same day with a gun. If they want it that bad then they won't mind filling out the paperwork and letting it process a few days. The store can hold the gun during that time. Private sellers should be required to obtain a background check from the buyer. Failure to do so should result in fines and jail time. And I'm not talking a slap on a wrist. I'm talking at least a year of time and a couple grand in fines. If passing from one family member to another, it should be documented through the state. While I think it's a bunch of BS that we have to have the government hold our hand for ever little thing we do now days, this kinda makes sense. Or a simpler solution is to make people have to complete a series of classes and courses for weapons just like you do for driving a vehicle. Have a learners type permit where you need someone 21 or older at all times with you if you are out hunting or have a gun or weapon of any type on you. After you would complete another course to make sure you still know your gun/weapon safety. If you pass you get a regular permit that you have to renew ever 10 years or so. If you are caught at any time not following the laws of the weapon rules, you lose your permit and the rights to own a weapon. A person behind a wheel can kill a person just as easily as a person behind a trigger.

Well, that's today's rant. I started. I ranted. I'll have more. Have fun and peace out.

-Sesshy